Books I Could Have Gone Without Reading – Collab With Julia

Fall Tips (14)

 

WARNING: DO NOT ENTER THIS POST IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. Be prepared to have your most favorite books bashed and utterly destroyed by this peasant bean.

Well, howdy dudes and dudettes.

Yes, I’m already back.

You thought you could getaway until Tuesday too see me again.

I AM BACK.

BetterQualifiedAfricanfisheagle-size_restricted

 

Sorry, but you’ll just have to suffer through yet another post written by this crazy bean.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by the sweet Julia and we came up with a collab idea that is gonna be so evilly fun.

We’re gonna talk about books we could have gone without reading.

giphy

 

I don’t usually like to bash books up here. (Because you know, #positivity)

But there are a few books I could have definitely gone without reading.

And today, we’re going to talk about them.

 

Up first.

Samantha Sanderson: Without A Trace by Robin Caroll

51zxLeYXnqL

 

I feel so horrible bashing this book. My grandma bought it for me as a CHRISTMAS PRESENT. (#WhatKindOfMonsterAmI)

I usually LOVE a good mystery. The danger, the intrigue. For lack of a better word, the BAM. But this one did not deliver what I wanted (or needed).

First and foremost, there was a creepy, there’s-always-someone-watching-you vibe. The whole story is about computers and stalkers and creepo stuffs and I’m going to be blatantly honest with the internet and say I had a hard time getting to sleep that night.

(FULL PENNY DISCLOSURE: It doesn’t take much to creep me out. The Cave Of Mirrors scene in The Last Jedi freaked me out to say the least. Like, checking-behind-my-shoulder-and-moving-to-a-couch-with-a wall-behind-it freaked out. That being said, it is not very hard to creep me out.)

Secondly, the mystery was dull and so were the characters. The MC, Sam, was your typical girl detective. A little rebellious, tons of friends, cool, smart, and such a modern not girly but yet very girly teenager that would often give you the sudden urge to punch her in the nose.

The mystery had no BAM. Just creep. Nothing was exciting. No heart pounding chases or scenes, just boring scene progression that was frustrating.

 

Now things are about to get dicey.

 

We’re about to talk trash about FAMOUS books.

And there shall be snark.

And fury, on your end.

 

Second book.

 

From The Notebooks Of A Middle School Princess: Royal Wedding Disaster by Meg Cabot

ms-princess-weeding-disaster-370-b

 

“But Penny!” you cry. “So many people LOVE Meg Cabot and her books.”

Too bad I don’t.

I liked parts of this book. I liked the characters. It was interesting and funny.

But there were several things about the book that made me uncomfortable. And the book was kind of huge, you know.

All in all, it was just sort of, mmmeeeeehhhhh. I wished I hadn’t read it. Or my sister read it either.

Please don’t burn me at the stake. I can have my own opinion. (And if you’d like to bash me in the comments, go right ahead. But my pet griffin, Kevin, will eat you. He doesn’t like to see me get hurt.)

(YES I DO HAVE A PET GRIFFIN AND I WILL BE TAKING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW MORE.)

 

Third book.

New Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley: The Case of the Blue-Ribbon Horse

51ZQDW0AN2L

 

Okay I know at this point you guys are all like this.

tenor

 

LEMME EXPLAIN.

Put aside all your romantic notions of them.

AS AN AUTHOR, the books are lame. Plots are simple. Characters are flat. Even for a kids book, they’re horrible. Extra merch, is all that they are. Money gimmicks.

Okay I need to say something good before I get shot.

BUT.

As a reader, for some strange reason, I’m addicted to bad books. Ones with awful plots and characters. I read them over and over again. (Kind of like people’s obsession with bad movies?)

This is either me comforting myself that there is someone out there that is worse at writing than me, or this explains why my writing could really use some work.

So ironically, this is actually a book I COULD NOT have gone without reading, because I love bad books. WHICH MEANS IT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE UP HERE ON THIS STINKING LIST!!!!

#helpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpme

 

Book four.

A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

220px-Tales_serial

 

If Mary Kate and Ashley didn’t set you off, THIS CALLS FOR THE READER POLICE SQUAD.

vzbhwnvpnekl5nnryuan

 

*waits while I get tackled, handcuffed, beaten up, and thrown in my cell*

MIGHT I EXPLAIN WHY I FEEL SO MUCH HATRED FOR THIS BOOK.

I think I might hate this book as much as you guys hate me right now.

First and foremost, I was forced against my will to read this book. My 7th grade teacher (who also goes by her alibi of “Mom”) said I had to read A Tale Of Two Cities for my English.

Now, I love reading. But reading the classics have always been a drag for me. I just don’t like them.

*waits while everyone throws dead cats and tomatoes at me*

Secondly, the book is confusing. There is waaaayyyy to much going on and my poor, immature 7th grade mind could not hold it in correctly. I literally had to go look up the cliff notes for what was going on, because that book was certainly not telling me.

THIRDLY, the book is shockingly gruesome. I think it takes place during French Revolution (Don’t remember. Don’t know. Don’t care.), so there is a lot of violence. And some of it is uncalled for. There is literally one point where these people just take a random guy and start chopping off his arms and legs and throw him in a fountain or something. That totally freaked me out!

(And fourthly let me add here that the book is just way too long.)

(And fifthly let me add here that I was going to have a fifth book because I hated Black Beauty too, but I don’t want to put myself in harms way for fear of you tyrannical booksworms who have too much attachment to lame books.)

 

Aaaaaaaaaand that’s it for today’s collab (a.k.a., Penny’s long wild rant). Thank you so much Julia for contacting me and coming up with this awesome collab idea. I had SO MUCH fun!!

And you beans don’t forget to follow Julia on her blog too. It’s awesome!!!!

So what do you think? Do you agree with my dislike for these books? Or should I be prosecuted? Have you visited Julia’s blog? And is it cool that I have a pet griffin now????

 

 

All images and GIFs sourced through Gfycat, Giphy, Tenor, Meg Cabot, Amazon, Jalopnik, and Wikipedia

Advertisements

41 thoughts on “Books I Could Have Gone Without Reading – Collab With Julia

  1. Julia @Lit Aflame

    His name can only be known by passing the test of worthiness! My dragon is UNKNOWN, he is the SHADOWS themselves, he is NAMELESS, he is the one and only GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    *cough* I mean. No, His uh, oh FINE, his name is . . . Doom. (happy?) Yes, it is a dramatic and fatal name, he is a fatal dragon with the ability to be very dramatic.
    He is all black scaled. Because, what other color would he be? I mean really.
    Yeah, he’s the opposite of a sweetheart. I have to admit, he is not a very good dragon (on the terms of being nice that is – he has the annoying habit of randomly roasting people (he is a fire breathing DRAGON after all) ).
    Hmm… I noticed you didn’t mention your Griffin’s name. . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh woooww Doom is an AWESOME name for a dragon, and he looks really fierce. And he SOUNDS fierce too. But I guess it’s good to have a dragon who can guard your blog for you tho.
      (And fire breathing dragons are soooooooooooooo cool (as long as they’re not blowing fire on me) and they are great for roasting marshmallows!!)
      Oh yes. My griffins name is Kevin. He wanted it to be something weird like Poison or Skull or Dark Night. But I didn’t think that fit him considering he ran away screaming from a stick that fell from a tree yesterday (griffins are not known for their bravery).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Julia @Lit Aflame

        Thank you! I’ll tell Doom you said that. And yes, he is very useful in guarding things, especially my blog.
        Hmm, yes I have heard Griffins can be flighty creatures, though I think it depends more on what world they come from, Doom has said he’s met a group of griffins once from his world, and they weren’t easily intimidated. One thing is for sure about all of them. . . they enjoy hiding more than anything.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh yes. I could imagine dragons would be very good at guarding.
        Oh, that’s very true. The Kevin was from a breed of griffins who were very……easily intimidated. But I’ve seen some that are very fierce too.
        And oh yes. All Kevin does is hide in odd places. I found him in the dryer this morning *facepalm*

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry to say I don’t. A Tale of Two Cities just didn’t hold my attention. And Black Beauty’s blurb should have been this: There was a horse. And everyone died.
      But oh, I am glad you agree with the others XD

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I never liked the classics till I hit my 20’s. Seventh grade is way too young for anything Charles Dickens. 😂 I love a good Victorian novel nowadays, but I was assigned one at that same age, and I had no idea what was going on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, Lily!! There are a few classic books that liked, such as A Christmas Carol and the lesser know The Haunted Room by A.L.O.E. (which is amaaaaaazzing, by the way.)
      If I reread the book now, I might be able to enjoy it a little better. But yeah, when I was in the 7th grade, I was totally confused about what was going on!!! 😂😂😂

      Like

      1. Also, Dickens is one of the more tedious authors out of all the classic books out there because he was often paid for the words he would produce, therefore he would just think of ways to write more, hence elaborate descriptions. 😄

        Liked by 1 person

      2. A lot of classic books were serialized in magazines, and with him being such a famous author, the magazines were probably willing to pay him to keep a series going as long as possible. Luckily, that is not true of all classic authors or even most of them. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde was also serialized, yet that book only takes a few days to read, haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I can’t believe I’ve gone so long reading classic books and never knew that!! And yeah, Charles Dickens is definitely one of the most lengthy classic writers. I’ve never read the Picture Of Dorian Gray, although the book and the author sound familiar.
        Thanks for that really cool fact! I never knew it! 😄

        Like

  3. Julia @Lit Aflame

    *gasps* YOU. HAVE. A. GRIFFIN?
    Since when?????
    If I didn’t have a dragon I’d have a griffin, hands down, they are awesome creatures, what color is your griffin? Hm? And I think our pets need to meet 😉 Lol.
    Thank you for doing this collab with me! Had a bunch of fun too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES.
      I just got him recently when I was taking a visit to a fantasy world of mine and decided to take him home.
      I HEARD ABOUT YOUR DRAGON AND THAT IS SO AWESOME. What’s your dragons name??
      My griffin is brown with some light brown on his chest. He is a dear sweetheart. (But he will eat people too.)
      (What color is your dragon??)
      And yessssssss they need to meet!!!
      Of course!! This was crazy fun!!! 😄😄❤❤🎉👍👊👏

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’D LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT KEVIN. Oh, and actually I don’t blame you for bashing these books! I haven’t read them all but those that I have/heard about didn’t surprise me. There are just better books to fangirl about, right? xD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OHHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING. Kevin loves attention. He is a 2 year old griffin (who entirely acts his age) who comes from a forest near a dystopian city!
      And yeah, they just weren’t good books for me. And agreed, there are other books that need more fangirling! *cough cough* Restart; Wonder; Out of My Mind, Rules; After All, You’re Callie Boone *cough cough*
      😂😂😂😂😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember trying to read the Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot about…four years ago, I guess. I love the movies, and they’re so good, that I thought the books would be just as good. WOW was I wrong. I put them down after the first chapter because the fact that there was an old dude who acted blind just so he could have girls and women help him across the street so he could feel them up made me feel disgusting. I distinctly remember Cabot using this as a way for Mia to describe her body type because she mentioned how the man only did it once to her because she didn’t have anything to grab on to.
    Barf.
    I’m so happy the creators of the movies were able to skip past that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Are you serious?? I can hardly believe that was in the book!!! 😱😱😱
      Barf is right!!! 😱🙄
      I haven’t seen the movies in a long time, but I was just thinking that I should maybe watch them again soon. And I sure am I glad the directors didn’t have that in the movie.
      Thanks for the warning on the book! I won’t read that one either!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Haha, I can’t beat you up too much because I have only read one of these books, that being a Tale of Two Cities. I think I suppressed some memories from it, because of the detailed evil of the yucky people. I liked Bleak House much better as a Dickens book.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah. There were so much yucky evil people in that book I can hardly read it.
      But I should check out that one! Dickens has written tons of good books, but A Tale Of Two Cities just didn’t hit it with me.

      Like

  7. Faye

    A Tale of Two Cities is BEAUTIFUL and wonderful and amazing!
    Granted, I didn’t read the unabridged version. I read the one with pictures on every other page. That was how I read Pride and Prejudice and a lot of other classics. But I couldn’t stand The Time Machine, I couldn’t even FINISH it.
    Anyway, Dickens is wonderful and amazing, but I like David Copperfield better. Try the kind with more pictures, that might help.
    Note, you’re talking to someone who wants a cat that eats crocodiles. (Jaguar) What is a griffin compared to THAT?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, if you read the unabridged version, you might not like it as much.
      (And I might have liked it more had I read your version.)
      But yeah. It’s crazy hard to finish those classics.
      I may try the kind with pictures. I always love those.
      Now, I do love Jaguars, but griffins DO fly, so………

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I have heard about number 2 and 3 but never bothered to read them. I skimmed through them and was like “meh. How boring.” And threw them on the shelf never to read it again.
    How did you get a griffin?
    Why did you get a griffin?
    When did you get a griffin?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. They are pretty bleh. I’m glad you thought so too! 😉
      Oh, thanks for asking!! I borrowed Kevin from a story I made. I took him home and adopted him because the characters in that story were not being nice to him.
      Why? I’d have to say it’s because griffins are like soooooooooooooo amazing and cool! They’re one of my favorite creatures!
      I got Kevin just a few weeks ago. He’s settling in nicely to this blog. Thanks for asking, Starling!! 😄

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s